Lessons from My Beautiful Broken Brain.

I recently watched the amazing documentary My Beautiful Broken Brain, by Lotje Sodderland. What started as procrastinating from cleaning on a rainy Sunday morning ended up being a procrastination session I don’t regret.

The feature-length documentary tells the story of how Lotje, a 34-year-old producer living in London, suddenly suffers from a severe stroke. On day ten following the accident, Lotje picks up her phone and starts filming her experience.  

It’s a raw, it’s honest and it’s beautiful and sad at the same time. This beautiful, smart woman who had her life at her feet, suddenly finds herself in a situation where she no longer can communicate. She can’t remember words, she can’t read or write, and she’s desperate to get back to her old life.

Though she works hard to get back on her feet, she stumbles along the way. Despite her determination and strength, the process isn’t easy, and though she makes massive improvements, she realises that she probably never will be able to get back to where she was.

The beautiful part of this film is how she accepts what has happened. She stops fighting to be the person she once was and to get back to the life she had, instead she embraces the person she has become. Instead of focusing on what she has lost, she switches her focus on what she instead has gained; her ability to see life from a different perspective, how her brain thinks differently.

She comes to peace with whom she has become.

Not only does she seem to be in a good place in life, she seems to be in a better place in life. It almost appears as though the stroke “woke her up”, made her able to live each day to the fullest. She seems to be present in body and mind.

I myself (and I have no doubt many more) see a lot of myself in Lotje. We work, work, work. We live the life that we think we are supposed to live. We strive for the next thing, without really noticing what we have at the moment. It is so hard to stop, taking that moment to see where our lives are actually heading, and is this the path we want to take?

I admire Lotje for being able to accept the things she could not control or change. It’s a battle that I believe so many of us are fighting on a daily basis. And to be able to find peace within yourself is something which I so much strive for.

Watching My Beautiful Broken Brain made me have that moment of taking a pause and reflect on who I am and where I’m going, thankfully without having a stroke.

I’m still striving to find that inner peace, to be able to accept the things I cannot change, and to feel a sense of calm. I still got a long way to go. I believe many of us have a long way to go. But it’s important to take that moment, to stop, to breathe, to feel what your body wants, before taking that next step. 

Mimmie grew up in Sweden and first came to Australia as a backpacker after high school. After travelling around the country for two years she returned to Europe and pursued a Bachelor’s degree in Journalism in London. But the longing for Australia and the sun became too strong. After having worked for some time in the media industry, Mimmie decided to make a change and swap the news for conferences. She now gets to do what she loves the most, meeting new people and keep learning about cultures and issues while producing conferences on current topics.