Everyone has a bad habit, whether they’ll admit to it or
not. Some of us smoke, some drink too much and others make themselves grand
promises to exercise daily and instead are up to season 7 of Supernatural on
Netflix.
But why do people do things they know aren’t healthy or supportive
to their long term future?
Back in the dark ages of the late 1990’s I bought a CD set
from Anthony Robbins, Personal Power. It went for 30 days. Every night for 30
days I sat down in my spare room/office and listened to Anthony Robbins extol
the virtues of neuro linguistic programming.
By the end of the of programme I’d quit smoking, stopped drinking,
given up junk food and was wombling around the suburb sweating to the Spice
Girls in an effort to lose weight and get healthy.
A month after I finished the programme I was sitting on the
couch, cigarette dangling from my lips with a glass of wine on the table, next
to a packet of Doritos and a container of dip.
For the 30 odd days of the programme I was pumped. I saw
changes. My life became more focused and I was doing whatever it took to bring
about the changes I wanted. After the programme finished I maintained it for a
short time, but then excuses started clawing their way back. I was tired. I’d
worked all day, commuted 2 hours to work and 2 hours home. My favourite show
was on the TV – no idea what that was anymore, but I couldn’t miss it – and I’d
do it tomorrow.
By the end of 30 days tomorrow never came. Instead I went
right back to where I was when I started. I’ve always wondered why? What about
the goals I’d set during those days of listening to a compact disc no longer
inspired me to keep going?
Bad habits have an ummm bad habit of derailing the best of
intentions. Recently I was house sitting in Sydney. My commute from work went
from 2 hours door-to-door to 40 minutes door-to –door and that included a 25
minute walk from the train Station to my house and waiting times for trains.
When I first came to Sydney I set a bunch of good, healthy habits.
They lasted a couple of weeks before I discovered Menulog
and the ease with which food could be ordered and delivered to the house. On
the coast we have 2 options for Menulog and I’m not a huge fan of the restaurants
so basically it’s a no go.
Strangely enough a diet of pizza, Chinese, Italian, and the Portuguese
Chicken shop a block from my house left me thinner than I’d started, but I’m putting
that down to daily walking.
I’ve never been great at replacing my bad habits, but I have
found a few tips that work, when you apply them one at a time. Replacing your
bad habits with good habits needs to be done one bad habit at a time. Trying to
do them all at once is a recipe for disaster.
Stress is a major contributor to bad habits. My position is
fairly stressful. I live and die by deadlines. Everything seems to be due tomorrow
and that doesn’t even acknowledge the random tasks I inherit daily. In my past
life the best way to unwind was to sit down and have a glass of wine. I did it
every night at one stage. It didn’t really do much to unwind the stress, but it
did make me feel very grown up.
As the amount of wine went from one glass to two or three I
started to realise that apart from helping my weight to expand it wasn’t do
much for me in any other way.
I bought a rusty old exercise bike. The seat hurts and the
last time I used it a peddle shot off across the patio and landed in the pool.
But it doesn’t matter. I downloaded an exercise training app, and began
replacing the nightly wine with a nightly 20 minute exercise bike ride.
By the end of the first month I’d saved $250 on wine and
lost 4 kilos. I rarely drink now, and never at home on my own. Instead, when I
feel stressed I ride that exercise bike like the hordes of Hades are on my tail
and invent new ways to hunt down whoever invented the exercise bike.
Boredom is another useful trigger when looking at starting a
life-long bad habit. I often used to complain about being bored. Bad habits
give us a way to relieve the boredom and feel like we’re doing something, even
if it’s not productive.
The best way to replace a boredom related bad habit is
to not be bored anymore. I potter about gardening, weeding things, pruning
things, watering things. I like watching seeds grow into plants and plants
flower. I recently decided that I want to grow things I can eat, so I’m
attempting to grow a Chilli plant from seed. I don’t eat Chilli, but it's the thought that counts.
The one thing I have learned over the years of bad habits is
you don’t lose them, no matter how much you want to. If you stop a bad habit
you end up with spare time, which only increases your chances of picking the
habit up again. Instead, you need to replace it.
- I replaced a nightly glass or three of wine with a medieval
torture device of an exercise bike;
- I replaced lying around complaining there’s nothing on
television with wandering around the garden, in a big hat, chopping everything in sight and
growing plants from seeds;
- I replaced vague and empty self-promises with doing one “thing”
each day to bring me closer to achieving a very specific goal I’ve had in mind
since I was a child; and
- I replaced removing bad habits instead choosing to replace
them with something else.
So, in closing, here are few helpful tips I’ve found work
well when trying to break a bad habit:
Chose a substitute habit – replace anything with a download app
with an overly enthusiastic American woman telling you how fantastic you are as
you try to keep both pedals on an exercise bike
Change your routine – A friend of mine quit smoking several
years ago. She had a very clear outcome in mind that forbade her from smoking.
So she went through her house and threw out every single thing that triggered
her need for a cigarette. She also started to do “other things,” in danger
times. Morning tea, she walked around the block. Lunch, she ate in a food court
where smoking was banned. It was the little changes she made to her routine and
the various triggers that gave her the ability to reach her goal of living
without cigarettes and also helped her achieve the end goal too.
Work in a group – boredom has trouble hanging around when
you’re working with a friend on setting a new lifestyle in stone. Join a group
of people who have the same goal. Join a writing group if your plan is to be a
novelist when you ‘grow up.’ Join a Bonsai group if you want to grow miniature tress.
For every hobby you want there’s bound to be at least one or two people who can
join you. Not only do you get to make some new friends – maybe – but it’s
harder to let yourself down when others are cheering you on.
Visualisation – I know it’s had a lot of coverage since the
documentary The Secret hit the airwaves, but visualisation has been around
forever. I remember as someone in my early teens being given a book about
visualisation by my Aunt. Thinking about succeeding isn’t visualisation though.
It takes effort and it takes having faith in yourself to follow the nudges and
hints you get. Still, even if you’re a bit hesitant visualisation can really
lift your energy, at least for a while. Do it often and regularly and you’ll be
surprised at the changes.
You may well fall over, but get up again – all those people
you read about who are overnight successes have one thing in common. They’re
not overnight successes at all. They worked hard, fell over, got back up and
tried again. The popular story of Thomas Edison always sticks out for me. When
asked how he felt that he had failed 10,000 to invent the light globe, Edison
famously replied;
“I have not failed, I’ve found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”
Whatever the bad habit you’re trying to replace know that you
don’t need to reinvent yourself. You are doing well, just as you are. All you
are doing is tweaking the direction of your life course. Give yourself a break
from time to time.
Changing a bad habit to a good one takes time, diligence and
effort. The good news though, is what else are we going to do with our time,
watch Netflix?
Mike Cullen has recently returned to Akolade after a period as the
conference producer for one of Australia's leading economic think tanks. Mike
began working in the conference industry in 2007 after looking for a career
change from the high pressured world of inbound customer service.
Mike has
worked for some of the most well-known conference and media companies in the
B2B space and in his spare time is working on his first novel in a planned Epic
Fantasy trilogy. Mike’s first published work will be the short story Seeds of
Eden, in the Sproutlings Anthology scheduled for release in March 2016.
